Khaya Ronkainen

Contemplating a Post-Covid Life

Posted on 07/04/2021 by Khaya Ronkainen

Conflicted. I’ve always been, between a life in the city and in the country. This had nothing to do with my notoriously indecisive trait as a Libran, the forever balancing of scales.

You see, as a young child I had my slice of bread buttered on both sides with the upbringing balanced between the city and the country. My cherished childhood memories from both worlds are etched in my heart.

As an adult I navigate and occupy both worlds with ease. The mood of my city “Sauna Capital of the World” is easy and unthreatening. Even as it develops with all that is expected of a city, it clings to the small town feel. Friendly and casual sound cliché but it’s truly easy to be yourself here.

But even with all the laid-back yet vibrant energy, the repetitive rhythm of the daily grind and demands of adult life can make days feel idle compulsive. When I find myself looking at screens all day, anxious and living for weekends, I escape to the country.

There are many myths about country living. For example, it’s deemed a cheaper and more sustainable lifestyle than the city. Nonetheless, what is true for me is that the country is my refuge; a place to restore my spirits.

When I’m in the country, nomophobia abates. Because it’s almost impossible to engage in tedious and repetitive tasks here. There are many DIY projects to complete that I’m less inclined to mindlessly scroll on my phone. Instead I look forward to engaging in physical labour as soon as my workday finishes.

Besides its charms, the country helps me live in the present. This past week, a deer paid me a visit. As I sat at my desk and staring through the window, I saw a deer leisurely walking in our front yard. I stopped myself as I was about to reach for the phone. Because not all experiences are meant to be shared on social media.

In all, the hybrid way of working meets me when I am. I’m happy in city. I’m happy in the country. But digital consumption is one of the things I’m downsizing, for improved mental health, as I contemplate a post-Covid life.

a side note: One of my poems, Self-care, from a work-in-progress was recently featured at Spillwords. Do check it out! 🙂

Writing & Living

Written But Not Read

Posted on 06/06/2021 by Khaya Ronkainen

You’ve probably heard of Octavia E. Butler’ s quote, “You don’t start out writing good stuff. You start out writing crap and thinking it’s good stuff…” Well, I’m a proud possessor of an absurd collection of short stories.

It was when going through my archived content with the hope of recycling some that I landed on a forgotten folder “Written But Not Read” that contains short story drafts, I wrote many years ago. Boy oh boy, such crap I was churning! I mean I could write 4000-word stories, now I can’t even produce 140 characters.

But my badly written stories made me laugh, and still do now reading them after all these years. It actually dawned on me that I was then writing to entertain myself; a way of dealing with culture shock in a new country. I wasn’t calling myself a writer then, I was simply writing and with no intention to share any of those stories with anyone else. I did knock myself out. Such freedom!

I also remember at the time being convinced that I loved writing short stories. A puzzling thing, when I think of it now. Because writing short stories is the most demanding thing I’ve tried with my writing, thus far. I was perhaps a little more in love with the idea. In fact, a note (in that same folder) is equally interesting, “I don’t know what I was smoking to think I love writing short stories!”

But I wonder if, as a creative, you still allow your imagination free rein. Or has your art become burdened by all the social ills, we face today? As a reader, what short stories have you read lately, and also had you in stitches? Please do share!

note: I’m linking to Writers’ Pantry at Poets and Storytellers United. And oh, if you could use some encouragement with your writing, follow the link!

Writing & Living

On Honouring the Process

Posted on 05/02/2021 by Khaya Ronkainen

The other day, a deer crossed my path. Startled we both stopped and stared, for a split second, before sprinting into different directions. A simple explanation for this encounter is that it’s spring and all living things are awake and roaming about. But I’m the kind of person, who sees signs or tries to find meaning in everything. You might say I’m a binge thinker but I view myself as a good listener, more especially from nature.

I bet deer are always lurking in the periphery of cities, more especially here with abundant forests and right on our backyards. But what took my breath away, at that specific moment, I was alone with the deer on a path that is usually busy with people going about their business after a workday.

As I write this piece, I’m a bit shocked and saddened by a message in my inbox this morning from one of my favourite Steampunk writers, announcing they will no longer continue to write and publish. I’ll admit, I shed a tear or two. First, because this pandemic is hard and has disrupted so many things. Second, because I’ve been especially hard on myself of late, concerning my lack of time and resources to publish my work.

So completely has a whole year passed, with scarcely the fruits of a month. . . I have done nothing! ~ Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Anyway, it turns out a deer crossing one’s path has a number of meanings, But the one I took away is about gentleness and compassion instead of it as a sign to perhaps give something up. Because I can never imagine myself not writing. I also learned Coleridge stopped writing poetry at 32 years of age because he was no longer able write “serious” poetry.

As I honour my process by being patient and compassionate to myself, I’m also putting out a plea. If you are a creative, please don’t quit! We might never know, in our lifetime, how our work impact others. But perhaps in a distant future, someone might find something of value from our endeavours.

p.s. Featured photo by Dustin Romeiro on Unsplash. I’m also linking to Writers’ Pantry at Poets and Storytellers United.