It’s International Mother’s Day today, and I think not only of mothers but of the women who helped mother us. These are mothers who may not share our surnames, our blood, or our homes forever, yet help raised us all the same.
Gen X is often described as the generation that largely parented themselves; there’s some truth in that. But aunts, grandmothers, neighbours, godmothers, older sisters and nannies held some of us. While our parents strove for dual-income households, these women were always a gentle presence that provided care without fanfare.
That’s why it feels like a good day to introduce Teresa, because she belongs to that world.
A character, briefly introduced: Teresa
Teresa, the no-nonsense and loving nanny in Distorted Is The View, is the holder. She wants dignity and safety, and a life that isn’t only service. She balances devotion and loyalty but also the weight of holding other people’s secrets.
As a guardian of continuity, she is the steady presence who keeps the Klaasen household from total collapse and gives the children something solid to lean against when other adults falter. She is emotionally and morally invested in holding a fragile world together.
In Making Room for Care: A Day in Hands, I called care “labour; a skill hidden in the architecture” and wrote of the “soft” tasks that require a whole body’s attention.
But what Teresa has taught me is this: care is not soft because it is easy. It is soft because it resists hardening. It keeps showing up and carries more than anyone sees.
A line Teresa might say: Some people call it helping. I call it holding what would fall if I let go.
A small beauty I noticed along the way: the many forms of mothering that ask for no title before they give love. These are aunts who remember what comforts you, the godmother who checks in at the right hour, the woman who is not your mother and yet leaves you feeling more held in the world.
A question for you: If you had a Teresa in your life, what is one thing you still remember about the way they cared for you?
Thanks for reading. May you remember the care that steadied you, especially when no one thought to name it!
Happy International Mother’s Day to all who celebrate it!
P.S. Distorted Is The View is coming out in June 9th, 2026.
Photo by Ashlee Marie on Unsplash
