Making Room for Care: A Day in Hands

Before a house has a voice, it has hands. It’s hands that stir before dawn, not with fanfare but enough to tilt the day into motion. In half-light, hands sweep the grit accumulating as if it were only dust and not yesterday refusing to leave.

With the strike of a match, the fire ignites, and the water in the kettle sings for morning coffee. Bread unwrapped, a knife moves with the unthinking precision of practice. By morning, the table is set the way a room is made safe. Cups stand ready and spoons are turned the right way for other hands to grab.

Midday comes with its repetitive tasks as structure, and hands change nothing. Because repetition isn’t a lack of imagination; it’s endurance. It’s lifting and carrying, wiping and wringing, repeating what must be repeated so others can move through their lives as if the world simply arranges itself.

By night, the hands finally pause. Not because they finished the work, but because the body insists. Because calming a child, reading a room, preventing conflict, and choosing silence are some of the “soft” tasks that require a whole body’s attention. The measured breath, the softened voice, and the pause before a word becomes a bruise require a fluency no one thinks to name, let alone notice, let alone thank.

Hands that do all work this are rarely called skilled. We call them “helpful,” “good,” “natural,” as if tenderness comes without training. Care is labour; a skill hidden in the architecture. And sometimes it’s restraint: the art of not making a fuss, while the room pretends it has always been calm.

Image of the madam and maid, taken from Museo Milavida, Tampere, Finland

PS. As we mark International Women’s Day this month, I want to give a shout-out to all who do the invisible labour that keeps life moving. To the hands that feed, clean, soothe, and keep going—often without applause. May your care be met with care: rest, fairness, and shared weight.

PPS. Feature Photo by Max Saeling on Unsplash.

Who Speaks for Peace?

Peace—

in a temple of power
one god calls himself a leader
another calls himself the leader
other gods chime in
proclaiming their godliness
all these gods declare war to achieve peace

with fists clenched
they argue over who merits peace
and whom to offer as a sacrifice
all while children whisper prayers
to a god they wonder still listens

in a glass house
divine messengers rise
to shape destiny
an absence of dissent
while scrolling past screaming faces
and self-flagellating devotees
who keep praying to the same gods

all these gods—
god of ruthless destruction
god of justification
god of hidden agendas
god of smugness
god of contradictions
god of endless conflict
god of …

all these gods—
would not sacrifice an eye
to gain wisdom
yet they promise peace
while twisting its name
a slogan carved above the door

kingdoms rise and fall
architects cannot stop glaciers from melting

where are the goddesses
to place people at the centre
to build trust
to hold two truths at once—

water is rising
harmony is fragile
who speaks for peace?

Image: Prompts by Rajani Radhakrishnan

PS: I started writing this poem in 2024 during National Poetry Writing Month. It was a response to the #WriteRight prompts, created by Rajani Radhakrishnan on her blog Thotpurge, reflecting current times.

I didn’t share it then. It was unfinished—still unfinished, and it may never be finished—and I’m still living inside the question of peace.

I’m sharing it now because I’ve stopped asking what art can do in times like these. This is simply an act of processing, witnessing, remembering, and affirming our humanity.

PPS. Photo by Katarzyna Pypla on Unsplash

Making Room for Wanting: love, privacy, and the unsaid

February arrives with its loud-hearted instructions: roses, reservations, and grand declarations. But these days I’m living inside a quieter register of love; the one I’m meeting through the world I’m writing. I’m learning that in some seasons, love doesn’t perform. It practices.

Making Room for Wanting

Writing into an apartheid-era South Africa has me thinking about wanting. Because then, wanting often had to negotiate with distance, ambition, silence, and the public gaze. When the world feels watchful, how does wanting find room? How does it learn to speak without being overheard? Underneath the romance, there’s always something more essential: the desire for connection, freedom, and peace.

Visibility and the Unsaid

We have the idiom, wear your heart on your sleeve, a display of affection and devotion. It’s a beautiful notion. But visibility can be risky, depending on the time and place you’re living in, and the rules written (and unwritten) around your body and your belonging. In South Africa, even love—across racial lines—was policed by law for decades. And beyond the law, there was the everyday reality of scrutiny: who can love whom, who is allowed to show public display of affection, who is watched.

Quiet Intimacy as Refuge

I can only imagine what that did to love. Still, love didn’t disappear; it adapted and learned new languages. Some love stories couldn’t be written in roses, but in repetitions—in the act of showing up again and again, saying I choose you, regardless.

So how did that showing up look? I can’t say I know for sure. But I imagine quiet intimacy as refuge: shared meals, borrowed time after the children sleep, a slow tune on a vinyl record player. I imagine that making room wasn’t only emotional but logistical too. Love needed privacy, cover, and timing to breathe.

And what continues to captivate me, as I write, is the tenderness people still made possible: the small gestures that kept love alive; the choice to soften rather than harden; the way rituals—small, repeated, ordinary—became devotion.

What This Teaches Us Now

When I think about my own childhood, shared rituals made home feel like love: coming together for meals, song, storytelling, laughter, and a bit of prayer too. Maybe it was Valentine’s every day, who knows! But what I know for sure is that love wasn’t always loud; it lived in private moments, where unspoken gestures said what words didn’t.

Even today, and all over the world, love continues to be “policed” by social and systemic expectations for individuals who don’t fit the traditional and “ideal” couple model. And when we focus on a single highly commercialised day, we risk taking for granted the daily, consistent effort required to keep love alive.

This is why I’m leaning into my year’s practice: Making Room for small yeses, for tenderness, for the brave quiet work of choosing each other every day.

So, I’ll leave you with this question to ponder: What quiet ritual keeps your love alive, and how could you honour it as real romance?

PS. Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash.