on rosy cheeks
ignite winning smile
yet scream hangs; a lump in the throat.
Prettiness and innocence interrupted as the
sweet sixteen rebels and conforms
merging cultures; a
For Poets United
note: This is my Fibonacci poem attempt with a syllable count per line 1/1/2/3/5/8/13, and then back down. Phew…such counting fun!
I like your poem, and I like the look of it, too.
Oh a complicated form, and so well done. I can see her face, adapting to the merging cultures.
I think its a question of peer pressure, here. Who wants to be left out at that age?
Nice craft of the Fibonacci; Khaya.
A great form …and a good take on being entwined in culture and a scream within a 16 yr old.
Wow! That lump, and the lips that contain it, remind me of me at a younger age. Mighty fine poem.
How appropriate to write a math-inspired form poem on Pi Day! Well done. I can hear the scream that hangs there.
Great job on the Fib…you do this form well. LOL, I am too lazy or too oriented in Japanese forms to do these complicated poetry forms…You portrayed the 16 year old so very well.
The point is teens see the world differently from the rest of us (I know I was one myself!) Teens are eager to embrace adulthood but are disappointed with those that have got there already who seem so dull.
“merging cultures” makes me think of an immigrant or refugee kid trying to make herself understood…without screaming…
Nothing can be gained without struggle. Sweetness will definite follow after a bit initial bitterness 🙂
I wasn’t even aware that it’s Pi Day. That’s super fun coincidence! Thanks Catherine for reading.
I love the way the lips frame your scream, Khaya, and the shape of it, like a soundwave of a scream!
Very nice work!
You’ve screamed well within the constraints of the form.
Fantastic! I just love the way you describe everything!! Big Hugs!
Great imagery and style, Khaya! 🙂
Powerful poem, Khaya … touching on so many topics in just a few words. The conflict of the pressure, the pleasure… I like the form of this and as with writing limericks the counting is critical!
Great form and impressive too 🙂
This is wonderfully done Khaya. 🙂