How Will My Pen Give Thanks?

On edges and extremes, singular distress.
A blank page or a capture by a character
with issues, I fumble towards a dark and
stinky mess. What madness! Deprived of
sleep, of nourishment and other things I
care not to talk about. I visit a doctor and
declare I’m zonked out. He tells me to take
sleep; a prescription that fixes problems.
I go home ready to take sleep, and muse
says no: “You call yourself a writer, write!”
Legs cramping and fingers unfeeling, I sit
and I write. As dawn approaches, a voice
screams: “I need sleep!” and the computer
says no. Side effects? I haven’t even started.
This is, the dark side of creativity. And the
luminary still asks, what do I do for a living?

Khaya Ronkainen
Khaya Ronkainen is a writer, poet and creative professional. Her blog focuses on all things poetry and creative nonfiction.


  1. So feeling your lack of sleep, but we march on until we fall. XXX

  2. The side effects of feeding creativity without rest can be quite overwhelming indeed. What a brilliant computer you have! Mine only glares at me. 😀

  3. Wow! Very good, and I can certainly relate. Our muses can often be so cruel, and sometimes creativity wells-up inside of us like a volcano ready to explode … but we wait and wait and wait for that explosion followed by relief! You have captured the writer’s experience perfectly, Khaya! 🙂

  4. This is perfect, it reminds me of myself so much lol. My body lays down to sleep and my mind has other ideas.

  5. I’m so glad you can relate, writing is both a wrenching and rewarding process. I try to cheer myself up in those dark moments, sitting at the desk when the world blissfully sleeps. Sometimes I have no inclination to write but sleep, and insomnia is the name of the game. It’s crazy but we can only laugh about it and accept as part of a writer’s life:D

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