A Tribute: How to Summarise a Friendship?

crashing waves

How to summarise a friendship?
I can’t

I don’t know where to start
A friendship like grief spans years

Is it enough if I say
A friendship is a river that never stops running
The strength of its tides and currents
Carries one beyond pain
To see beauty of a gift
Given only once in a lifetime?

Is it enough?
Because I can’t
Right now
Summarise our friendship.

note: My heartfelt thanks to everyone, who sent me words of comfort. I appreciate each and everyone. Thank you. ♥

My friend was laid to rest yesterday. I managed to get out of bed and take a shower, and just be there in spirit…

In any case, I thought I’d share this farewell poem (part of the tribute message) I wrote for her. I hope it lands on the right ear and offer comfort to the person who needs to hear it.

Khaya Ronkainen
Khaya Ronkainen is a writer, poet and blogger. Her blog focuses on poetry and creative nonfiction, and also features poets and their books.


  1. Taking a shower is a big win. It took me a bit to remember I ought to do that in the days after my friend passed. I hope you have a support system around you, reminding you to eat too (I needed that). Be very gentle with yourself. This sort of pain needs time to learn to manage it. *hugs* And again, I’m happy to be a listening ear since I’m about a year along on a similar journey.

  2. Yes, such a friendship is a gift. I am glad that gift was given you, this lifetime, as hard as it is right now for you. Take good and gentle care of yourself. These are hard days.

  3. Friendship is the most precious way fro souls to share energy in spirit and this life journey. The true ones connect us back to our true selves. Your poem is deeply beautiful. I am sorry for your loss.

  4. Friendship never really dies. It lives on in memory, only a thought away. They may not be on the front lines of this life with you anymore, but they are with you in spirit, always.

  5. *hugs* getting out of bed and taking a shower is a huge win. It’s so difficult to summarize a friendship. It wasn’t until two years after my friend’s suicide that I was able to properly write about our friendship.
    I am thinking of you.

  6. I’m sorry for the loss of your dear friend, Khaya. I’ve been where you are. Grief does span years, as do cherished memories that can provide some comfort. Hugs to you.

  7. Khaya, your tribue message captures the unfathomable nature of loss, a grief so powerful, a friendship so deep that is cannot be summarised, contained within a few words, a poem … the whole of the emotions, your friendship is within you. Your words touch me to the core, in the midst of your pain fully aware of:

    ‘To see beauty of a gift
    Given only once in a lifetime’

    A gift and connection that ended far too early and suddenly. My heart goes out to you, my dear friend.

    Sending love & hugs xx ❤️🦋

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